Reading by the Torch Light



Reading by the torch light

Decades of debris

All along the roadside

Three weeks, dying grass & bee stings


Air bag then a white pause

Once a grey cloud

Looking out the long window

Incremental buffalo grass


Caladan indigo ocean

Concentric ripples

People strolling outside

Conversation mist










My Career Path of Destruction


It has come to that time of year again, when some of us come to ritually attempt to make sense of our lives; this is the time of new years resolutions. This year I have been churning over something, I am turning 40 in May and I have identified something that has become a trend in my life.

I am a job-hopper.

In the name of self development, I have decided to colour code my experiences. Green is good experiences Orange is average and Red is pretty awful

  1. Mechanics assistant (working with my dad) p/t (3 years helping)
  2. Work experience: Gough and Gilmore Mechanic  (weeks) 
  3. Alround Auto Electrics -Auto electrician apprentice f/t (4 years)
  4. Ingrams Townsville PTY LTD -Parts Interpreter f/t (1 yr)
  5. Gibsons Auto Electrics-Auto Electrician f/t (10 months)
  6. Sunnyside Auto electrics- Auto Electrician f/t (5 months)
  7. Frames Auto electrics- Auto electrician p/t (2 months)
  8. Cooranbong Auto electrics-Auto electrician f/t (5 months)
  9. Enfield Auctions- Production Auto electrician f/t (6 months)
  10. Straitfield Auto electrics p/t (1 month)
  11. Charlestown Auto electrics -Auto Electrician f/t (2 yrs)
  12. NRMA roadside -Auto Electrician p/t (3 yrs)
  13. Mountain ind- Yard hand and mechanics assistant p/t (2 yrs)
  14. Stationmasters cafe-Kitchenhand p/t (4 months)
  15. Editor student newspaper p/t (experience) (1 yr)
  16. handyman magazine -editoral designer p/t (6 months)
  17. Powerdown s– IT admin and graphic designer f/t (1 yr)
  18. Bimbadgen estate winery -Graphics designer f/t (1 yr)
  19. Volgrens -Production Auto electrician f/t (1.3)
  20. Downer EDI -Production Auto electrician f/t (3yrs)
  21. Westrac f/t  auto electrician f/t (3 months)
  22. Varleys f/t ( 3 months)
  23. Periodic IT work JavIT / ACT logistics p/t (2 years)
  24. Kia / Subaru Bradstreet  Car salesman f/t (6 months)
  25. Samsung brand ambassador salesman p/t (5 months)
  26. Ebay sales advisor: cash converters f/t (1 month)

I sometimes struggle to make sense of this mess, many of the jobs listed here no longer exist. Vast workshops packed full of eager trained workers now lay empty, whole steelworks that once thrived with industry are now desolate empty wastelands.

My career roughly goes like this : Left school at 16, did Trade in Auto electrics, decided after long period disliked it. Trained to be a graphic designer gained a diploma and a degree. Worked for a short period as a designer and enjoyed it and then returned to a lucrative manufacturing sector in the middle of the mining boom, mining boom eventually wore out and lucrative jobs dried out, and was forced along with many others into the retail sector and the world of money.

Other sectors in my life have remained relatively stable. Like the place in which I live in my home town in Newcastle. Staying put in one spot is also a sort of explanation for all the jobs, instead of following the tide of work all over the country I have stayed in Newcastle because I love this town and my house that I purchased here.

These changing experiences have promoted a great deal of self analysis, I am more philosophical about work in a sometimes negative way.

I have started to ask real questions about the relative nature of work, how it’s structured, why our system always seems to create these similar situations in workplaces.

For a long time I fooled myself into thinking  that low paid jobs, minimal wage jobs the employers did not expect a huge amount from people, that the wage said everything and that things would be a little cruiser in those positions.

This turned out to completely false, that many of the lowest paid staff are treated like privates in the army, if one falls out of line then they get screamed at so all the others are frightened not to fall out of line, I didn’t expect that on the bottom rung at all.

Sometimes in the jobs that I have had  I have seen workers laugh with joy, enjoying their job and working with their fellow comrade. They like the company and the job.

Yet many bosses treat this situation with utter suspicion and distrust. It seems that it is his job to impose his will on people and make them unhappy.

How can this be, that we are locked in a situation where nobody can ever be happy in their job, Is it because it is one persons job to make sure they are unhappy, or maybe they worry they are not working all the time because they are happy and laughing?

It is always a running joke in many workplaces ‘Don’t be happy at work, you will get in trouble’

People laugh, yet I always think. They said that in the last workplace too..why?


The world of car sales

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I sat in the car sales office only four months ago, the interviewer: my future boss threw my resume up into the air, then proceeded to lay into me, he explained that my education and my list of jobs in the Automotive industry was of no interest to him and wanted to know why I wanted to sell, from the very first moments I felt like the Gestapo had their spotlight on me.

I went home dejected, but probably not really perturbed,  then two days later came the call –‘Welcome to the car sales industry’ At that point I had really no idea on what I was about to undertake.

Before I started I had my reservations, I mean we all have our ideas of car salesmen right- Well i was about to ‘become one’ and I wasn’t exactly comfortable.

Upon entering the first things that struck me about this industry, is just how different it is to other sectors I have worked in, there are rules and formalities, language and ways of behaving that just don’t apply to the majority of jobs out there.

For example, the industry takes balloons very seriously, and where a key is hung on the key rack can result in the silent treatment for days. There is a ‘Wooduck” a “Plum” and other coluorful phrases consigned solely to the car industry.

I like hundreds of other trainees that came into the industry was woefully under prepared, in an information session I attended a trainer gleefully explained how the sales industry was in his estimate constantly churning over 30% of its workers mainly trainees, how in nearly every dealership he went to all over the country there was nearly always a trainee that had been there only three or four weeks, it was no surprise it just seemed part of the territory, that’s sales.

There are parts of the job that are enjoyable depending on your personality, there is no greater feeling than knowing it was your personality that sold a car, and when the customer actually explains that you where the reason why they bought that car. That is the fuel that keeps you going.

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Other salesmen are a little like a group of cats to work with, they are all the same species and like cats there are territories. If you go into their territory there is a fight. The way it works is that if you meet and greet a customer, explain and run through the car, build up rapport – but the customer does not buy on that day but comes back later to make a purchase. If the salesman records that person in their diary or on the computer program then that commission is theirs. Some salesman even go further believing that if the customer just comes in asking for a particular salesperson then that is his or her sale.

Many senior sales people take advantage of new trainees ruthlessly ‘snipping’ as many sales as they can before the trainee works out how it all is supposed to function. I roughly had about 6 sales snipped by senior salespeople.  The sales manager can often acts like a judicatory deciding who deserves the sale or who put in the most effort, or in some cases just which salesperson they like the most on the day and just awarding them with the sale because they feel like it.

As you can see this industry functions differently to others, while watching a training video on air bags and safety one day I had some light shed on why. The engineers in the video seemed honest people who wanted that product to be as safe as it possibly could, the job was their life’s work and the culmination of years of training and study, the brand had developed that product spent millions and millions on advertising and distribution that was real.

Yet I watched it with squinted eyes, I was looking through the fog of the salesman, it didn’t feel real- I had seen the same kind of videos on the last brand of car I sold…they can’t all be ‘the safest car on the market’. Honestly it was all down to if I really believed it or not, or if the customer believed it or not.

And that’s where the individual salesperson comes into it, it seems if a salesperson knows his product and more importantly bonds with the customer then sales do happen. Yet, it is very difficult to control that process, because you can’t control the people coming in,  it isn’t like learning to do something like say design a magazine, or repair an engine. it isn’t even like other forms of retail because many people come in focused on just how much they can get the car for.

So the industry is fueled with the salesman’s personality,  its no secret that getting along with the customer is crucial to making the sale, however it would be a surprise to most people that much of the focus in car sales is on how to control the car salesperson.

So much focus is placed on how to control and train the salesperson, some other crucial factors are forgotten, like product knowledge for example, training to use the computer programs, and even the paperwork that needs to get completed, there is a fair amount of legalities in a sale that takes a while to understand and explain.

When a sale was actually happening and I was center stage, it was either fun or excruciating depending on the sales manager, it is a high pressure environment everybody knows it.

But it is another thing altogether to actually have lived it.

The Sleepwalkers: How Europe went to war in 1914

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I remember when I was in primary school I was fascinated by a book my father gave me about the world wars, in the first chapters I would stare at the comic like pictures of the Kaiser taking a bite out of the globe, I remember the little picture of the car in which Franz Ferdinand was killed, the whole thing just seemed odd, just one person the killing of Franz Ferdinand lead to the events that kicked off a massive world war costing millions of lives, how?

The book starts with an excellent introduction, detailing why the book is worthy of some contemplation, with philosophical points raised by Clarke, namely “Is any war really inevitable”  in the conclusion Clarke also cleverly distances himFeatured imageself from pointing fingers at any one party and generates some philosophical contemplation about the broader problem:

The outbreak of war in 1914 is not an Agatha Christie drama at the end of which we will discover the culprit standing over a corpse in a conservatory with a smoking pistol. There is no smoking gun this story; or rather, there is one in the hands of every major character.

It is a curious way to think about things, that each party seemed to blame each other, hence mutually assuring its own destruction, a sort of ‘Mexican stand off’ of nations.

Yet standing back, from Clarkes rather ambivalent conclusions, I felt that he often set to point out something else entirely.

From the very beginning Clarke sets to outline how violent and turbulent the Serbians could be even to their own monarchy, how violent nationalist elements inside their own country were actively supported by the Serbian government, how the country never really attempted to hide its contempt for Austria for annexing Bosnia Herzegovina in 1908.

In today’s world, these kind of things are called terrorist activities and are looked on very dimly indeed. Entertain for a second that a nationalist element somewhere in the world assassinated Prince Charles, if a country was found to be clearly behind the actions there would be massive ramifications and investigations to who was behind it, if it was certain to be linked to a nation then there would be a proper independent investigation and then action taken against by the UN and then other nations.

But back in 1914 there seemed to be little interest in following up the links between the Black Hand and the Serbian nationalists.  Many knew they had links to senior military leaders and politicians but never really put any effort into proving it as true. If they had done this logical thing then the cause for the war would of been extinguished, or at least the alliance may have even sought to punish Serbia or let Austria just take its revenge and keep the dispute local. It was this simple following through that could of made so much difference.

Yet in the situation that unfolded, Russia, France and England all came in defending Serbia against an Austrian invasion. This was something of a revelation to me, I had never really thought that the so called ‘good guys’ of the war could of potentially been defending a country that had essentially poured petrol on and lit the fuse to start it.

During the slow lead up to the war the mind begins to boggle at the many possibilities for peace, it seems all parties, France, Germany, England and Austria all tried but failed to secure any effort at peace, individuals had a good go at it, but all seemed to sort of give up powerless at the bureaucratic mess that unfolded.

It is also confusing that histories nominated bad guy – Germany seemed to want to avoid the war altogether right up to the very last moments and clearly thought it could be localized to the Balkan region, this is not the history that we are taught in school.

As a history book, this was tedious but rewarding, there is no doubt I have a much deeper understanding of prewar conditions including a very detailed account of the assassination itself and the events leading up the court case afterwards which made fascinating reading.

This book was a mammoth undertaking just one page of the in depth analysis of pre-war European political landscape had the effect of setting me off to a good nights sleep. There were a few times I nearly gave up, but then out of the blue an astonishing episode in history that I was previously unaware of would keep me glued to the page.

As for understanding of why it happened, I think this is a task that historians and thinkers will have difficulty really understanding for a very long time, however I am glad this book exists because there are plenty of unexpected events that unfolded that just don’t fit into any nationalistic history of the war.

The standard doorbell


Sometimes I have a sort of philosophical thought bubble, I spend weeks going over a certain subject that fascinates me, mostly the ideas thought of long before my time, covered by science or philosophy. However there is a joy in this process of personal discovery, Buckminster Fuller did this sort of thing in the 1960’s there is value in exploring old ideas, covering well trodden ground just for the sake of it from a modern perspective.

My journey starts with the humble doorbell, I was knocking doors for an upcoming by-election and I started to take note how many people have doorbells. There are a bewildering array of different doorbells, most had a simple functionality: – You pressed the button and the chime went off, that seemed to dictate the overall ‘look’ of a doorbell button. However the particulars of the doorbell seemed to wildly deviate; different colours, chimes, material and design.

The functional played a part for the position of the doorbell, it had to be available for the person at the door to simply press, it was common that people had their doorbell placed at exactly the same height and on the right hand side.  The electric doorbell was invented around 1831, before that people had all sorts of ornate and ingenious ways to tell the homeowner there was someone at the door, these are still around and used, the twisty ringer, the actual bell with a rope on it and the metal fixed knocker are some examples.

At first glance all this seems obvious, humans have a sort of standard for doorbells, I mean there isn’t a huge amount to think about there. But there also seemed a standard for where to ‘place’ the doorbell and a standard for the way the doorbell was actually presented. As I went to each house I started to realise there was a standard and functionality for everything on a house, for the letterbox, the gutters the driveway for the whole house even. Give a child a pen and paper and ask them to draw a house..they draw a roof to windows and a front garden our mental picture of a house is universally standardised from a very young age.

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In Bill Brysons book At Home, he covers briefly the history of many domestic objects, in the beginning of his book he discusses the salt and pepper shaker, Bryson asks an interesting question about the nature of the salt and pepper shaker: Why salt and pepper, why not say salt and cinnamon? What led to them being those particular spices becoming standardised? (He does in fact go into detail to explain the historical reasons why) but his original questioning fascinated me,  you could ask the same question for doorbells, why a door ‘bell’ and not a door ‘buzzer’, why a ‘button’ not a ‘switch’.



Hand outlines found on a cave wall in Indonesia are at least 39,900 years old

I left my ideas about the doorbell for a few weeks until something in the media re-ignited my thinking on the door bell and the concept of standardisation. Some human cave paintings from the Indonesian Island of Sulawesi were dated to about 43, 000 years ago much earlier than any other human art, the striking thing about them is not just their age but their similarity in style and application to paintings from northern Australia from a much later date.

There seems to be a cultural and artistic standardisation going right back almost as far as we can find human artifacts, however the concept of standardisation itself, seems to be framed as a recent discovery mainly confined to the industrial revolution.

Historians and archaeologists sometimes point to a little earlier to weights, coins and measures as examples of standardisation. But here we have on this very ancient wall, painted so long ago signs people culturally had a very precise standard, a form that had to be taught and shared culturally through communication the look and feel of these hand paintings was to persist for thousands of years.

Back to the doorbell, the odd thing about the door bell is that in today’s world it is largely a mass manufactured item something that for 100 years or so people could purchase and place on their door, like in star wars with all the outdated robots hanging around to go to the incinerator there are just a stupid array of different makes and models of doorbells that exist however we can all identify them as standard doorbells.

Philosophy bubbles to the surface here, and I am reminded of the ‘idea’ we have of something, like a Platonic and objects we imagine a perfect doorbell in our minds and a perfect place to place or to think about the object or idea,  this is reinforced by seeing it in existence, in similar places on other houses making or forming a kind of standard of doorbells in our minds.

This standarisation, applies to literally everything we do and create, standardisation is only something we apply to the real world, the actual time and outcome of these material objects is not secured unless a similar idea is imposed on them for the whole duration of their existence, this is where the complexity of the longevity of the hand paintings comes into view.

Psychologically, we can apply standarisation to things like behavior, our behavior can be split up into ideas that require a certain level of standarisiation so it can be communicated, it is here that life itself is included, because like us many species communicate to survive.

Bee’s must standarise how they collect honey or a beaver must standardise how he builds a dam, life must also have the facitlity to create door bells.

I  am not sure how I got so far away from my original thinking about doorbells, but I feel we are linked to this mental formation of standarisiation and the more you look around, the more you start to see it, in objects we create, in our ideas we think about  and in people and their personalities,  even in animals and insects and their behavior.

Yet I can’t see a reason for it other than mere survival, there are objects on our planet like a volcano that are not crafted by standards, but by physical inhert interactions only, yet it is only our minds that form categories and standards for these things.










McWilliam’s Blue Label Mount Pleasant Hunter Valley Semillon 2006


After working in the Hunter valley for a while it became clear that one variety stood tall and proud and exhibited the most intricate flavours that it garnered from the region.

Semillon is the Hunter Valley’s flagship variety, and I often found it odd how many people did not recognise this, locals and tourists alike.

The Hunter Valley geographically is not an obvious place that Semillon should excel, the region is prone to horrible fluctuations of weather, each year radically different weather has created some odd results that often is a surprise to those who try the wine.

The first thing you notice when you look at this wine is that beautiful, darker straw like colour, it’s age has given it this delicious tone that gives you hints about what flavours are in the glass.

It has a surprisingly dull aroma, you literally have to dunk your nose into the wine to collect any aromatic information. The best I could fathom was an obvious straw fragrance.

It’s flavours are subtle like the aroma, they lack a little complexity but make up for it by still exhibiting the peppery, lemon and straw like delicateness that is unusual for a wine at this age.

The wine lacks the heavy flavours that come with age, but they are emerging.

This is the sort of wine I would buy on bulk and even wait a little longer to see what happens, it seems to have a little time left on the clock and could even turn into (after 7 years) something that might really be worth trying.

I can’t help feel that there is a little secret here with this wine, that in it’s earlier incarnation 7 years ago over the counter it wasn’t really that impressive.

I am guessing a savvy winemaker made a wise decision to cellar this wine and has totally made the right decision.

You can for $21.95 (at Dan Murphys) have the privilege to enjoy a Semillon that most other Hunter Valley vineyards charge much more to enjoy.